A better life awaits

Woke up bright and early for 2nd day of class. 5 boring days of sitting in class, listen to a person educate me on being a good ramp agent. From 2 days of class I gathered that i'll be overworked and underpaid, and also that if I make a mistake my life or 50+ passengers lives can depend on it (LITERALLY). Life is full of changes. I remember just yesterday when i was a Security Guard, now im in the process of being a Ramp Agent. Is that really what I really want. I mean who wouldnt want the opportunity to travel for free, or at 95% discounted fee? France. Europe. Brazil. Costa Rica. Africa. Sweden. Las Vegas. Cali. Florida. I mean the places are endless. To travel the world is a big dream of mine and wife to be. This job would make that dream a reality. As much as im siked about the free travel, its many negatives that strips away the joy of traveling for free. Im tired of being broke an unemployed, I feel like this job is a desperation move. Im so grateful to have a strong woman by my side who's keeping me grounded, but sometimes I get slightly depressed that I cant treat Wife to be. Take her to dinner. To the movies. Buy her them things that i know she will look sexy in. Growing up I had aspirations of being a lawyer. Even though i was excited of just the thought of being a lawyer, I was just to immature and misguided to realize, I was the only obstacle in those aspirations. Since then I been so lost, not knowing what i really wanted in a career. One thing that I was sure of, I wanted to live comfortably, and be able to provide for my family. Not to long ago I came across a site about becoming a plumber. Reading the site interested me about the opportunity, but the future earnings interested me more. The more I think about being accepted into the program and having a career in plumbing, I become more excited about the opportunity and less excited about the money. I havent felt this way since I was in school and wanted to be a Lawyer. Now im a mature man and know if I want this I have to go after it. Im excited about having an acquired skill. Im excited about taking this skill and being my own boss. Im exciting using this skill to earn extra cash in my spare time. Im excited about using this skill to make home improvements without having to pay another man. Im excited about being a real estate investor and being able to fix up, my own investment. Im excited about bartering my skill for another persons skill, such as an electrician. Yes im excited about being able to live life comfortably. October 7, I plan to apply and take the test to get accepted in Plumbing apprenticeship program. If I dont get accepted, what steps can I do to chase this opportunity? I dont need to be a ramp agent to travel. We just will have to finance our vacations. If we can afford it, then why not. Ramp Agent or not, our traveling dreams will be fulfilled. So am I wasting my time going through ramp agent training when i honestly dont want to be a ramp agent. As the instructor speaks, and my future co-workers, sit enthusiastically, and talk about how they cant wait to start and someday become lead ramp agents, I ask myself why am i here? Is money that much of a necessity that im willing to take any job thats offered to me? To me. I guess it is. Tomorrow is day 3, being in a place i know I dont belong. Today the instructor went around class and told people individually, what he think would be their best contribution as a ramp agent. He skipped me and 3 other people. Is it because i'm sending off signals that says I dont belong, or this isnt the job for me. Or is it because he think im not capable of being a good ramp agent. Nah it cant be that, every job I had, I was one of the best. If I actually give my all I wont be one of the best, I will be THE BEST. Today as i was web browsing, something inside said go to church. I know I need to go. I know I need to pray. I know I need to believe. I know I need to have faith. I know something better awaits. Its time for change. Where do I start?
Its time to go for what I want and not for whats giving to me.